Sex at first meeting: yes or no?

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Although we are 2019, women still face the constraints of some obsolete social norms when it comes to relationships and sex.

One is the “rule” that you need to wait at least three appointments before having sex with a potential partner.

The stigma about sex at the first meeting goes to where there are still opinions that if a woman does, the man “will not take her seriously”, “will think she is easy” and “will not consider her for a partner in the long run.” Another “antique rule” is that a woman should wait and leave her husband “to quench” while she receives the “award”.

This false puritanism, besides being a misogyne in its basis, is the suppression of female sexuality and freedom of expression.

Unfortunately, women today are still “finger-pointing” and men are praised as “conquerors”.

Psychologists say most people would not have sex at the first meeting because they do not want it, but because of the fear of social stigma about what is “acceptable”.

If you are thinking about having sex with someone at the first meeting, the only thing you need to ask yourself is if you want. There is no “correct” answer.

Sex therapists extend the topic further.

If you feel chemistry, both of you agree to have sex, the battles that everyone else thinks. If you check out whether you are sexually compatible with time, it can help you decide whether to invest time and energy in this person.

There are no clearly defined rules – everything comes down to what your level of comfort is and what you are looking for at the moment. Of course, genuine first day communication will take you away if this person is shown to be “real”.

From a female perspective, if you have sex at the first meeting, it does not make you less “skilled” for a serious girl. An honest conversation will show you before you do if you’re with a man who would think that you’re “worth less” because you slept with him right away.

It is very important to distinguish “sex for one night” and “sex at first meeting”. This is about your side of the equation, that is, what you are looking for and what you offer in this particular situation.

Finally, be careful not to make a sabotage of the relationship, obsessing with the thought that you had sex at the first meeting. Unless you talked about it and your partner explicitly did not say so, you can not expect that the reason why after a while the relationship failed was because you had too much sex early.

Therefore, breathe deeply, use protection, be safe, be honest, and be guided by your desires, not by the expectations of others.

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